I spent all morning trying to get one photo of the reclining Buddha without any tourists in the frame. I also tried to get in a few prayers without terribly disappointing those same tourists when they figured out I had not crawled down from the hilltops, grains of uncooked rice taped to my knees, to prostrate myself before a heathen deity. Despite my graphic Surfs Up t-shirt, I’m sure I will find my way into more than one photo scrapbook. At least I was doing something kind of interesting.

The Buddha police should require visitors, all of us, to visit the temples on our knees. That would definitely slow down foot traffic. Just imagine all those tourists from the former Soviet bloc in Dolce Gabbana logo wear, tour busses full of newly prosperous Chinese clutching Louis Vuitton knock-offs, and men from various nations in Bermuda shorts and Dockers with fanny packs circumambulating the 145 ft long Buddha on their knees.

At the very least, it would put a stop to the pushing and shoving. This I do not understand. Besides the obvious point of displaying not very Buddha-like behavior, it’s not like the reclining Buddha is going to get up and go anywhere.